⚠️ OVERSTOCK ALERT

Free
Puppies
Right Now.

We have too many dogs. They are chaotic. They are eating the drywall. Please take one. Absolutely zero cost.

🐶
Fig 1. A Dog
NO REFUNDS • THEY BARK A LOT • VERY SOFT • DID WE MENTION FREE? • HOUSE TRAINING NOT INCLUDED • COMES WITH TAIL • NO REFUNDS • THEY BARK A LOT • VERY SOFT • DID WE MENTION FREE? • HOUSE TRAINING NOT INCLUDED • COMES WITH TAIL •

The Inventory

LEVEL 5 CHAOS
🦴

Barnaby

MALE
  • Good Boy
  • Cannot Stop Licking
  • Speed: Fast
SLEEPY
🌭

T-Bone

MALE
  • Basically a log
  • Loves Cheese
  • Speed: None
LOUD
📢

Princess

FEMALE
  • Small but fierce
  • Hates Postman
  • Speed: Warp 9

Frequently Asked Questions

Is this actually free?
Yes. The monetary cost is $0. The emotional cost is incredibly high. You will never sleep again.
Can I return the puppy?
No. Absolutely not. Once you touch the puppy, you are legally bound to it for eternity. Read the fine print we didn't write.
Why do you have so many?
We don't ask questions. You shouldn't either. Just take a dog. Please.
🦴
🎾

Ready to ruin your carpet?

By clicking this you agree to love the dog forever